My Body is Standing Up to Me.

Around age 47 I started noticing radical changes in the way my body looked and felt. Mind you, the perky breast, flat tummy and firm tush had been highjacked by gravity long ago. At 47, I told myself that my body was turning on me. Now at 52, I realize that it's not turning on me, but standing up to me. It's sending me a clear message: "Look, I've been through the good and the bad times, through sickness and in health. I deserve better from you. I'm the only body you'll ever get and I demand better." My body also reminds me that I speak frequently talk about riding this thing call life until the wheels fall off. Well my body is telling me, "I'm the engine and the caboose that those wheels are attached to, so you better get with it sister, before I derail you. LOL.

When I was younger, I ate right, exercised and did all the things a cool S.F. Bay Area transplant was suppose to do. Plus, I wanted to look cute and more importantly, I wanted to set a good example for my son. So I ate right, only allowing myself occasional indulgences, and those were laden with guilt. I limited my salt, sugar and alcohol intake. I was sailing along thinking I had it all together. Now mind you, I was not in the least bit in control of my mental well being. I was totally detached from my mind and spirit. I treated them like stepchildren. Of course, that's another story for another day.

At 52, I find myself much more connected to mind, body and spirit. As you grow older and hopefully mature, you are forced to pay attention or pay a high price. I often laugh at myself now; a lot as a matter a fact. I laugh because there is nothing like growing older to cure you of O.C.D., and other maladies. There was a time I would not go to a public bathroom unless I was armed with my own cleaning supplies. Well let me tell you, I've gotten pretty friendly with public toilets these days. I don't have the option of being picky. Well okay, sometimes if I'm having a good bladder day, I might still get to engage a bit of my germaphobia, but more often than not, I just have to grin and bear it, or risk the possibility of wetting my pants. Believe me, the thought of wetting my pants at this age, is less desirable than entertaining the phobias in my head. Plus, I'm trying to set a good example for my 3 year old grandson. He would never understand why Mimi wet her pants.

Another example of my body standing up to me is a recent development of extremely painful arthritis and inflammation, that is triggered largely by the foods I eat and yes, some of my favorite libations. As a girl who definitely enjoys a cold beer, especially on a hot summer day, imagine my dismay when beer is now off the menu. I drink one beer and I can barely walk the next day. Also, I had to give up tomatoes, tomato sauces and cooked spinach. I must admit, I still indulge from time to time, but I pay a painful price. But it's all good, cause did I really need all the calories that come with beer, the sauces and the pasta, of course not. Again, the body knows best.

Gone are the days when I could "drop it like it's hot". Now the most I can ask for on a good day, is to drop it like it's tepid and hope there are lots of folk around to help me pick it up. But it's okay, I can live off the memories of bygone days. Plus, does anyone really want to see a grandmother dropping it like its hot, I think not. While we're on the subject of hot, let me tell you, I still bring the heat, just in a different manner. Now I heat up with hot flashes. Menopausal and post menopausal ladies you know what I'm talking about. Hot flash, power surge, private summer, call it what you will, that heat wave that comes on unexpectedly is no laughing matter. Because I have to do things over the top, I'm still have periods along with my hot flashes. Now you talk about a hot mess. I'll pause on this subject for fear I might over share. But you get my drift.

My Chinese herbalist, who I often rush to complaining about some new aliment, tells me that all of the symptoms, and ailments that I've been experiencing over the past few years
are due to menopause. Well, I guess they don't call it the change for nothing, cause everything I once knew, felt and saw in the mirror about my body has changed. Dr. Liu has recommended dietary changes and prescribed a number of herbal remedies, each one a little more nasty tasting or strange looking than the next. Let me say however, most of the treatments have indeed worked.

Another wonderful gift that I received along with my body standing up to me, is that most of my friends are a little more "mature" than I am, so I benefit from their wisdom. Sadly, my mom and mom's sister have transitioned so I don't get the benefit of their infinite wisdom. My oldest sister, just tells me, "you'll be okay, no one ever died from the change". Gotta love big sisters. In the meantime, I'm trying to return to a time when I really took care of my body. Of course now, it has very little to do with trying to be cute or sexy, it's just trying not to fall apart.

I'm taking it all in stride and honoring the wisdom of getting older and appreciating that my body is standing up to me. It is demanding that I honor her and the wonderful temple of love, self healing and wisdom that she is. I'll keep you posted.

Wear the world like a loose garment and remember, Everything Changes.