My Body is Standing Up to Me.

Around age 47 I started noticing radical changes in the way my body looked and felt. Mind you, the perky breast, flat tummy and firm tush had been highjacked by gravity long ago. At 47, I told myself that my body was turning on me. Now at 52, I realize that it's not turning on me, but standing up to me. It's sending me a clear message: "Look, I've been through the good and the bad times, through sickness and in health. I deserve better from you. I'm the only body you'll ever get and I demand better." My body also reminds me that I speak frequently talk about riding this thing call life until the wheels fall off. Well my body is telling me, "I'm the engine and the caboose that those wheels are attached to, so you better get with it sister, before I derail you. LOL.

When I was younger, I ate right, exercised and did all the things a cool S.F. Bay Area transplant was suppose to do. Plus, I wanted to look cute and more importantly, I wanted to set a good example for my son. So I ate right, only allowing myself occasional indulgences, and those were laden with guilt. I limited my salt, sugar and alcohol intake. I was sailing along thinking I had it all together. Now mind you, I was not in the least bit in control of my mental well being. I was totally detached from my mind and spirit. I treated them like stepchildren. Of course, that's another story for another day.

At 52, I find myself much more connected to mind, body and spirit. As you grow older and hopefully mature, you are forced to pay attention or pay a high price. I often laugh at myself now; a lot as a matter a fact. I laugh because there is nothing like growing older to cure you of O.C.D., and other maladies. There was a time I would not go to a public bathroom unless I was armed with my own cleaning supplies. Well let me tell you, I've gotten pretty friendly with public toilets these days. I don't have the option of being picky. Well okay, sometimes if I'm having a good bladder day, I might still get to engage a bit of my germaphobia, but more often than not, I just have to grin and bear it, or risk the possibility of wetting my pants. Believe me, the thought of wetting my pants at this age, is less desirable than entertaining the phobias in my head. Plus, I'm trying to set a good example for my 3 year old grandson. He would never understand why Mimi wet her pants.

Another example of my body standing up to me is a recent development of extremely painful arthritis and inflammation, that is triggered largely by the foods I eat and yes, some of my favorite libations. As a girl who definitely enjoys a cold beer, especially on a hot summer day, imagine my dismay when beer is now off the menu. I drink one beer and I can barely walk the next day. Also, I had to give up tomatoes, tomato sauces and cooked spinach. I must admit, I still indulge from time to time, but I pay a painful price. But it's all good, cause did I really need all the calories that come with beer, the sauces and the pasta, of course not. Again, the body knows best.

Gone are the days when I could "drop it like it's hot". Now the most I can ask for on a good day, is to drop it like it's tepid and hope there are lots of folk around to help me pick it up. But it's okay, I can live off the memories of bygone days. Plus, does anyone really want to see a grandmother dropping it like its hot, I think not. While we're on the subject of hot, let me tell you, I still bring the heat, just in a different manner. Now I heat up with hot flashes. Menopausal and post menopausal ladies you know what I'm talking about. Hot flash, power surge, private summer, call it what you will, that heat wave that comes on unexpectedly is no laughing matter. Because I have to do things over the top, I'm still have periods along with my hot flashes. Now you talk about a hot mess. I'll pause on this subject for fear I might over share. But you get my drift.

My Chinese herbalist, who I often rush to complaining about some new aliment, tells me that all of the symptoms, and ailments that I've been experiencing over the past few years
are due to menopause. Well, I guess they don't call it the change for nothing, cause everything I once knew, felt and saw in the mirror about my body has changed. Dr. Liu has recommended dietary changes and prescribed a number of herbal remedies, each one a little more nasty tasting or strange looking than the next. Let me say however, most of the treatments have indeed worked.

Another wonderful gift that I received along with my body standing up to me, is that most of my friends are a little more "mature" than I am, so I benefit from their wisdom. Sadly, my mom and mom's sister have transitioned so I don't get the benefit of their infinite wisdom. My oldest sister, just tells me, "you'll be okay, no one ever died from the change". Gotta love big sisters. In the meantime, I'm trying to return to a time when I really took care of my body. Of course now, it has very little to do with trying to be cute or sexy, it's just trying not to fall apart.

I'm taking it all in stride and honoring the wisdom of getting older and appreciating that my body is standing up to me. It is demanding that I honor her and the wonderful temple of love, self healing and wisdom that she is. I'll keep you posted.

Wear the world like a loose garment and remember, Everything Changes.

The Lady in Red Has a Life of Her Own

Each day I come to understand more and more why they call it the Change. Everyday there is something different going on with my body. My cycle, or the "Lady in Red" as I call her is completely in charge. She shows up and out whenever, and might I add at the most inopportune times. It can be quite annoying.

Another funny aspect of this journey is the number of my sisters friends that keep telling me, girl it sounds like you are almost at the end. My biological sister is the lead singer in this chorus. Well I don't want to be almost at the end, I want to be at the end, as in no more periods and no more pads and Lord have Mercy no more cramps.

There are days that I rant loudly about how tired I am of pouring (bleeding) what I feel is my life energy away. On more sane days when my hormones are a bit more in balance, I recognize that it is all a process that is preparing my body, mind and spirit to emerge as a stronger, wiser, yet still Quiet Warrior Queen. As I move through that process, the Lady in Red is very much in charge and I have to go with the flow. (Pun intended).

Until next time....

Coping With Menopause

It has been a while since I posted on this blog. Not because menopause does remain a relevant issue. I'm writing to share a natural remedy that was really beneficial to me.

Yunnan Baiyao Chinese herbal supplements aids in the reduction of heavy or prolonged menstrual flow. It was very beneficial to me. I was at the point that I was considering taking synthetic progesterone. I am not say this is a cure, but it did stop the bleeding and I am back to a level of functioning.






Functions and indications: stopping bleeding, dispersing stagnant blood, invigorating blood, relieving pain. Valuable first-aid remedy for internal and external bleeding, traumatic swelling, and insect bites. Commonly used for excessive menstrual bleeding, severe menstrual cramps, ulcer bleeding, and hot skin infections (carbuncles). Can be taken internally or applied externally.*

Reflections on the Change: A Poem

Though Aunt Flo still shows up and out when she wants to.
I feel as if my womb is as useless as damp matches.
But I still want to keep it, it is a gift from God.
After all, it has borne children and nurtured the souls of wounded men.

Though my thoughts may waiver, my inner vision is keener than ever.
Though I may become disoriented by this birthing of the new,
my intuition is enhanced and I am trusting myself deeply.
My red moon passing is a time to see grace realized.
While I reinvent myself, I am learning greater tolerance,
or maybe I just don't give a damn.

What I take in is just as important to me as what I give out.
I am using the heat from my hot flashes to incubate new ideas.
I am making room for the woman I am becoming.
The Crone, the wise Sage, the real keeper of the secret joy.
I can now give myself permission to dance naked in the moonlight.
I am a woman on fire with hope and love: ripe, fertile and pregnant with possibilities.

What You're Eating and What's Eating You

What's Eating You?


The menopausal process is a wonderful time to make the mind, body, spirit connection. It is a time that requires you to pay absolute attention to yourself. What you are putting into your body both in terms of the foods we ingest, but more importantly the emotions that we allow to enter our being. Though it is nearly impossible to completely avoid negative stressors, we can control how we choose to manage the stress in our lives. There is a African proverb that says, "that that does strengthen you, should be released for it is a false treasure." Avoid or reduce your interactions/relationships with those persons that don't add value to your life.


What You Are Eating.

A diet rich in fruits, vegetables and fiber are critical during this phase of the female life cycle. Decrease alcohol and caffeine intake because both can increase hot flash symptoms. Health expert Dr. Andrew Weil makes the following suggestions to relieve some of the symptoms of menopause and peri-menopause.


Omega-3 for Menopause Symptoms

If menopause has got you down, omega-3 supplements may help. A new study from Canada’s Université Laval found that these essential fatty acids helped boost the mood of menopausal and peri-menopausal women suffering from mild depression and psychological distress. (It didn’t work well with women who had more severe depressive symptoms.) What’s more, the omega-3s were as efficacious as hormone replacement therapy and anti-depressants in reducing the incidence of hot flashes, the researchers reported. The Laval team recruited 120 women age 40 to 55 for the study and divided them into two groups. One group received capsules containing a total of one gram of EPA, an omega-3 fatty acid, and took three per day for eight weeks. The other group was given similar looking capsules that contained only sunflower oil with no omega-3. When the study began, the women were having about 2.8 hot flashes a day. These dropped to 1.2 in the omega-3 group but only to 2.3 in the sunflower oil group. The study was published in the February 2009 issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition and in the November 8, 2008 online edition of the journal Menopause.

Be sure to get adequate sleep even if you have to utilize natural supplements or yoga exercise to assist you in getting a good night sleep. Make sure your body gets the right vitamins, whether it be through food, supplements or both. Be especially mindful that you are getting enough calcium, iron, and vitamins D & E. These vitamin have been found to aid in the prevention of bone loss and in preventing or decreasing some cancers,

"Sisters of the Red Moon Passing" , celebrate, honor and embrace this phase of life by reconnecting and integrating your mind, body and spirit.

Girl You Still Got It

Now don't get it twisted, I can still drop it like it's hot, I just have to be sure that my mate is strong enough to help me pick it up. ( LOL) .

To all my sisters, we are sexual beings from the time we enter the Universe until the time we leave. Though our desires may change; it may take longer and the earth may just grunt a little rather than move under your feet, but "girl you still got it" . No mater how old we get we should never lose our desire for human touch and intimacy.

Our sexual experiences during the menopausal phases are much like the rest of the process. It requires us and our mates to be more patient, take our time and enjoy the intimacy of each others touch rather than the final outcome. Our youth obsessed society would have us believe that peri- menopausal and menopausal women should not have sexual desire. However, numerous health journals suggest the contrary. Data shows that, the majority of menopausal women do not experience a long-term decreased in sex drive. Much depends on our overall attitude, our perceptions about menopause and the process of growing older.

Now I know many of you are saying, it's hard to focus on sex or being sexy when your' re subject to breakout in a sweat at any moment or you can barely stand to be around yourself, let alone another person. Symptoms such as mood swings, hot flashes, depression, vaginal dryness, fatigue, decrease self-imagine and changing hormonal levels can all reek havoc on our libidos. In addition, health conditions such as diabetes, depression, and high blood pressure and their associated medications can lead to decrease libido. Relationship and psychological status can also play an important role in sex drive and sexual satisfaction. Women who are in healthy relationships with a supportive mate tend to have healthier sex drives. Much the same as any other point in the adult life cycle. Remember, for women sex is 90% above the waist.

Many women actually feel liberated with menopause, no longer worrying about getting pregnant. However, we must be mindful that menopause does not protect us from sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and AIDS. So condoms and other prophylactics are still needed.

The menopausal process and all the elements associated with it including our sex drive requires us to make radical life style changes in order to make optimum benefit of this potentially life transforming time in our lives. Below are a few suggestions for addressing some of the symptoms.

Using Vaginal Lubricants or Moisturizers

You can choose from a variety of vaginal lubricants and moisturizers to improve the health of your vaginal tissue.

• Water-based lubricants and gels: These are available over-the-counter (OTC) and treat the symptoms but not the cause of vaginal dryness. The effects are not long-lasting, so you need to reapply each time you have intercourse. Because they contain chemicals they may irritate the vagina.
• Vaginal moisturizers: These are absorbed into the vaginal tissue and increase moisture. Also available OTC, they may not provide enough lubrication during intercourse and so lubricants may be needed.
• Vaginal creams: These contain estrogen and are by prescription only. The creams build up estrogen levels in the vagina and may affect breast and uterine health. They may also contain irritants such as propylene glycol.
• Vaginal Tablets: These contain low levels of estrogen and are by prescription only. Tablets are inserted into the vagina where they help thicken the vaginal walls but the estrogen is not absorbed into the bloodstream.

Stay active:

• Having intercourse or masturbating regularly can help increase sexual responsiveness. It helps keep the muscles that support the uterus, vagina and bladder in shape.
  
• Don't forget your Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic and vaginal muscles
• Don't be afraid to experiment/play with toys.
  

Eat Healthy/Exercise

• Stay hydrated. Increase your water intake.
• Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
• Eliminate or reduce your intake of animal protein.
• Get moving. Engage in muscle toning and strength building exercises at least 3 times a week.
• Take a walk. It's good for the body and the mind.
• Try meditative exercises such as Yoga and Tai Chi.
  

References: Christine Northrop - The Wisdom of Menopause.
Dr. Donna.com
The Third Age

Menopause: A Natural Process

When our mothers and grandmothers went through what was appropriately called the change, there were few pills or hormones to "treat" menopause. "The change" was seen as a natural phase in a woman's life. A stage where a woman went from the childbearing years to middle age. With that came wisdom and a signal for the woman to focus inward now that the children had been reared.

In our current society where even the most natural of processes is seen as an inconvenience, the change must be managed. We treat this natural process as if were a disease. I am lead to wonder if by introducing so many synthetic substances into our bodies, if we aren't exposing ourselves to greater risks. Please note that I am not suggesting that any one break from what has been advised by their doctor. This is only my humble opinion.

It is my hope that we will use this space to support women and that we use the menopausal process as an opportunity to give birth to our creativity, renegotiate our relationships and to transform and heal our lives. It is my hope that we will share our collective stories, remedies and even our agitations in a spirit of love, humor and mutual respect.

I welcome each of you to add your voice to Sisters of the Red Moon Passing cyber salon. In sharing our stories, we chronicle experiences that can be shared with our daughters, sisters, mothers and sister friends. Let's do this thing!